So there is this woman at work who is remarkably judgmental about people taking leave. Vocally, eye-rolling-ly judgmental. The other day she had to justify the leave that she needs to take now, then at Christmas, then to get married, and then later on to take a delayed honeymoon. I felt bad listening to the run around she was being given, yet thought to myself, now you see how you make everyone else feel. I’d put money on the fact that the irony didn’t even occur to her.


The other evening @edenland posted on Twitter: I dare everyone on twitter to tell the truth. I’ll begin: I’m wracked with doubt, can’t get a job, parenting can bite me. Go. My response was this: I have an alter ego because I can’t say what I want as myself. And I stay up late at night hoping morning takes longer to get here I watched the stream of responses for a while. It is interesting to me how people put on twitter what they won’t or can’t say in real life – do real life people not follow them there? […]

Aug 202011

My cycles have stopped again. I am quite convinced that the herbs the naturopath put me on stuffed it up. I don’t even know what to do now. I’ve all but given up and am back to late night Googling… late ovulation, long cycle, yoga for ovulation and anything else I can think of to maybe chance coming across anything new. There is nothing new.

Jul 282011

Here is the thing, I have never been thin – ever. Fit? kind of. Healthy? pretty much. But thin? never. Until now. As women it is very acceptable to bitch and kid about being fat or having a muffin top, or demeurly drop our eyes in thanks when complimented that we have lost a few pounds. But it is poor taste to be proud of being thin unless you have been through some intensive program or orgainsed diet plan and/or are trying to win a competition having to do with said weight loss. I call bullshit. Bull-shit. I want to […]


It is indifference, and usually I have it down pat when it comes to a very unfortunate person in my life. However tonight is not that night. Tonight I am writing a letter to a person for whom I alternate between utter disgust / loathing and complete indifference. Due to a situation that has recently arisen I have to address an accusatory hurtful email sent to me nearly 2 years ago. Well I don’t have to but I need to in order to move on. I am sitting here and I feel like I have icewater running through my veins, […]


I had a tubal patency test today. If you have ever had one you know what I mean by the sink comment. Apparently I have a challenging cervix.  Great. After 2 failed attempts and way too much digging around (sorry) by the doctor and technician (who were as nice as you can be in a crap uncomfortable situation) they managed to get the dye in. The great news my tubes are all clear. The news unfortunately was over-shadowed by the fact that I was in enormous pain for the next 48 hours.  It felt like someone had kicked me in […]

Mar 202011

Sometimes I just drop off the grid. I keep going about each day, working, cooking, laughing but I stop reaching out to anyone. It makes me think about them even more, and then makes me kind of sad, and sometimes I don’t know how to snap out of it. Being so far away from everyone I kind of just feel forgotten a lot.

Feb 032011

Why can’t I ovulate on the weekend for once? Any day during the week just makes for time to make the donuts sex rather than time to get out the chocolate sauce sex. I miss chocolate.

Nov 252010

Unfortunately this has nothing to do with crazy outdoor sex, or animalistic positions or over-grown body hair in the slightest. It would be so much more pleasant if that was all we had to worry about these days. The first year of no period and crazy hormonal crap I spent gooogling ‘ovulation regulation’ and PCOS and hormones and ‘fix me I’m broken’. For a while I started tracking things on my own based on Dr. Google. I was pretty well versed in what was going on once we went to a fertility doctor to see if we could learn more […]


Every once and a while things work out as they should. Instead of the sale starting the day after a big purchase it starts the day before. A late start means the traffic has cleared and the trip takes less time. You get laid off the day you are planning on quitting so they pay you to leave a job you would have paid to get out of. Yeah. That. 2 hours before a meeting that had been scheduled for weeks where I was planning on handing in my resignation. They couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t as shaken as […]

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