I mentioned recently that I finally told work that I wanted to cut back on hours. The conversation went really well. And then nothing. Radio silence.

I followed up after a week, gently – as discussed, blah blah. The response? Please put it in writing. Um, ok, could you not have asked that a week ago? So I put it in writing. Complete with an action – I would like to begin these new hours on x date. And then nothing. For another week. Really?

I lamented to my mother about the situation and her response was quite insightful – per usual. It is not his priority to get back to you. It is in his best interest to not reply for as long as possible. Because the longer he takes, the longer it will be before you make a change he is not particularly in support of because it makes his life harder.

Fair enough… well not really but you know what I mean. So I made the next move. I am looking to start my new hours this Friday, please let me know if this will be an issue. Thanks. Queen to king bishop pawn – Check.

A one-line, cc others, reasonably snarky-passive-agressive reply later and it was approved. But what started as a positive supportive conversation between equals ended up as an underlying threat along the lines of We’ll see if this works out

You know what? F-off. I grew up as the target of bi-polar passive-aggressive power struggles for 25 years. I know how this shit works. I see it coming miles away. It took me about a week to spot it after I started, and about a month before I copped it as the target of the day. Apparently I was no longer new so there was no need to be nice anymore.

But it only works if the person trying to swing the power actually has the power. I don’t think he realises that if he deems this situation as not feasable my response is along the lines of it’s been lovely, I am more than happy to give 4 weeks notice out of respect. Have fun looking to fill the spot and have fun telling the clients. No one is irreplaceable, but I’m pretty entrenched.

I started the new hours last week. I’m continuing them this week. The clients are supportive, most of the staff is supportive. I am doing it either way. There is no going back. Check-mate.

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